Come here a second.

Closer.


Look at this face.

Does this face look like the face of a dog who wants to hurt her Mommy and Daddy?

A face with big puppy dog eyes that look at your hands, feet and nose as natural prey who need to be mauled and destroyed?

Is this the face of a naughty little puppy who doesn't take orders?

A face, mind you, that says, "I hear you. I understand you. But heck, I am going to ignore you. Because I can."

The features of a mannerless dog who delights in consuming warm smelly things that left her body just seconds before?

The expression of a Beagle who barks barks barks barks barks barks barks every time her Mommy and Daddy leave the room she is in as if they're never coming back because they're horrible, horrible parents?


That's what I thought.

*puppy licks*
Maggie at 12 weeks. 9 pounds.

Chunka Monkey want ride dawg.

Maggie & Chunka, 9-10 weeks.

Please note

My Mommy changed the comments format on my journal so that everyone can say how beautiful I am whenever they want. So feel free to spoil me with compliments, and tell me where you're from!

On another note, I went to the vet last week for some booster shots (ouch!) and the nice lady doctor told me that I have an extra nipple. So I've got eleven of 'em. Further proof that I am particularly special and absolutely gifted.

I also found out that I weigh about 10 pounds now. When I had my first visit to the vet just five weeks earlier I weighed under 5 pounds. I think that's how much I weighed in the picture at the top of this page. Just to remind my parents how big I really am, I jumped up on the couch for the first time this weekend. Weren't they surprised. Look out coffee table, you're next!

When I was at the vet I also had the pleasure of meeting some other dogs. I met a blonde Beagle, some huge dog named "Bear," and two strange dogs they called "Pugs." They were snorty and slobbery but they didn't scare me. I barked and barked until they both hid behind their mommy. I am so fierce.

The Beagle and the Beach

Last weekend I went to a place called the sea shore with my Mommy and Daddy. We stayed in a big strange house with two decks and lots of new people. The house was surrounded by really big water on one side, and millions of pebbles and rocks on the other. It was pretty but strange.



Needless to say I was confused. I didn't know where to eat or sleep or pee. So I did everything everywhere. It was fun!

I did enjoy playing on the upper deck though. Mommy gave me big ice cubes to chase and lick. It's a good thing because it was really hot. We also took walks and saw strange things like turtles, seagulls, other dogs and puppies, boats, people and lots of water.



When Daddy went out golfing on Saturday, Mommy packed me in the car and we drove to another strange smelling place. Outside this house was an odd, nervous looking creature. Mommy called it "Otter" so it must have been an otter. This otter looked an awful lot like a dog to me. At first Otter was very nice and seemed to like me. We even shared water and treats.



But when I wanted to play puppy games she seemed annoyed. So I tried harder. And then she got more annoyed. I think she believes she is really a human. Bah, she can't fool me. We'll be best friends in no time!

Eventually we went back to the other weird house and Daddy came home and we played on the deck again. Then there was lots of sleeping, eating, peeing and pooing all over again. The next day Mommy took me on a long, long walk to a place called the Beach. It was the strangest thing yet! So loud, so sandy, so smelly and soft. The only thing I could think to do was dig. Mommy didn't bring her camera. It's a shame because I was damn cute with sand all over my nose. She really needs a digital camera. She can't bring that big dinosaur camera everywhere. Plus she's spending alot of money on film and developing pictures! We need to convince Daddy that a digital camera would be a good invess... inbest... investrament. That means it will save him money.



I hope to go the Seashore again soon, but I've been told that I need to be fully housetrained first. Doesn't housetrained mean "do it in the house?" I have that one down pat! What's wrong with these people? I guess I'll see what I can do before Independence Day weekend. I'll put all 3 ounces of my puppy brains into it so I can see my grandparents and little cousins again. Wish me luck.

This nose is three months old today!

Can you believe it? That's 21 dog months. Almost one whole dog year. Yeah, we puppies grow pretty fast. "How fast?" did you say?


Well. Can you find me in this picture when I was 2 weeks old? I know it's blurry--don't blame my Mommy, she didn't take the picture, my breeder did. Here's a hint: look for the markings on my nose!

So I'd like to share some Important Life Lessons I've learned so far:
1. Loud, obnoxious barking and crying gets you nowhere.
2. Soft, pathetic whimpers are way more effective.
3. But so are the "puppy dog eyes" so try that first.
4. When in doubt, smell it before eating it.
5. But no matter how great it smells, never, ever ever try to eat a bee.
6. Children understand us puppies more than anybody. They're pretty smart. Much more in tune with Beagles than those bigger, clumsier humans, always steppin on my perfect little feet.
7. Well, except for my Mommy and Daddy, of course. They're the best.
8. But if your Daddy has had a long bad day at work, it doesn't matter how cute you look--it is best to give him some space.
9. A Mommy, however, is a sucker and will drop everything for you, especially on a bad day. That's why mine brought me to work with her this week.
10. And that's when I learned that it's best to poop in your Mommy's boss's office. So I did. Oh boy did I ever.


This weekend my parents are taking me to some place called "the beach" which is located "down the shore." I don't know if I am excited about this or not because I don't know what to expect. It sounds like I'll be spending alot of time in the car. Not my favorite place. (Note: A perfect time and place to put Life Lessons #2 and #3 into practice to get treats!) Whatever happens, I'm sure I'll have lots of stories on Monday. So go have a great weekend, give a dog a kiss, and come back soon.

I love my Chunka Monkey

One day in May, Daddy found a stray sock monkey on his way home from work. He brought the monkey home to me and we called him Chunka Monkey.


First I showed that monkey who was boss.


After that we got along just great.


*Censored*


What will Daddy bring home next?

Lessons I've taught my Mommy in just 4 weeks

1. Getting up early isn't so bad. In fact, it's refreshing and peaceful.
2. Eating breakfast is a good idea too.
3. You don't need to brush your hair or put on make up just to take a walk.
4. New tricks deserve rewards and lots of praise. Especially in the form of snacks.
5. Being alone for too long makes you cranky.
6. Holding your pee for too long makes you crankier.
7. Peeing in your bed because you've waited to long to pee makes you the crankiest.
8. Slow down. Stop and smell the roses. Or eat them if you're hungry.
9. The world is awaft with new smells just waiting to be discovered.
10. Fun and games are all wonderful, but a good belly rub takes the cake.
11. Never hold back the urge to kiss someone you love.
12. A wagging tail, like a smile or a laugh, is infectious. Pass it on.

June Favorites

Name: Maggie May Hamilton

Birthdate: March 26, 2004

Breed: Tricolor Beagle

Color: Hot Pink

Flower: Rose

Listening to: Madonna: Music

Watching: Winged Migration

Eating: Baby carrots and pig's ears

Learning: "Jump" and "Outside"

Playing: Chase

Reading: Tag The Dog

Current Playmate: My neighbor Maggie, a Golden Retriever mix

Pet Peeves: Trash cans on trash day

How to Charm Me: Take me on a walk.

How to Annoy Me: Retract the leash when I'm on a hot scent. I am a Beagle you know.

Who's my Mommy?: Kate

*puppy licks*

an assignment

Go pick some fresh flowers and stuff them in a vase, then put them in the place you spend the most hours of your day. Breathe in the pretty goodness. Adopt a bit of their personality. Breathe out. (Mine are honeysuckles. Yummy.)

little miss mischief

Who wrote that! Me? Mischevious?


Surely not I, you must be mistaken.


For one, I would not dare even think about eating your delicious new roses. Not little me.


And that certainly was not me you saw digging up wires in the mulch and chewing on them. This photo is inconclusive.


How dare you humiliate me with this... this thing on my neck.


Just let me loose, I promise not to run and bite.

*Crunch*


Nothing to see here! Get that camera away.

How to Chew a Fox

or, the Fox and the Hound
by Maggie

Step one: Have someone toss the fox.

Step two: Chase the fox to wherever it landed.

Step three: Repeat six times.

Step four: Pounce on the fox!

Step five: Go for the ears. They're tastiest.

Step six: Let the fox know now that he stands no chance against your "champion bloodlines."

Allow him to submit and surrender. But don't let that stop you. Just try the other ear.

The End.